This is Funny!

Dept of Jewish/Buddhist humor:

Jewish Buddhism:

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Be here now.

Be someplace else later.

Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life;

with the first sip, joy;

with the second sip, satisfaction;

with the third sip, peace;

with the fourth, a Danish.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing.

Do not wish for perfect health or a life

without problems.

What would you talk about?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with

a single Oy.

There is no escaping karma.

In a previous life,

you never called,

you never wrote,

you never visited.

And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy.

It takes effort to attain nothingness.

And then what do you have?

Bupkis.

The Tao does not speak

The Tao does not blame.

The Tao does not take sides.

The Tao has no expectations.

The Tao demands nothing of others

The Tao is not Jewish.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out

Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will

be the least of your problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud.

Let your stillness be as a wooded glen

And sit up straight.

You'll never meet the Buddha with such

rounded shoulders.

Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.

Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.

Each blossom has ten thousand petals.

You might want to see a specialist

Be aware of your body.

Be aware of your perceptions.

Keep in mind that not every physical

sensation is a

symptom of a terminal illness.

The Torah says,

Love your neighbor as yourself.

The Buddha says,

There is no self.

So, maybe we're off the hook.