It was deeper than that. It all began when Norman told me that our friend Annie was going to midnight mass!
"Midnight Mass"... The last time I ever did that was when I lived in Boston in the late 70s. I was quite regular with my Sunday masses and holy days of obligation. Growing up Catholic, I was religious. It was a family ritual to go to Sunday masses and the like. To miss them was a mortal sin. Grievous! You could go to hell forever for that! Such was my fear of God, guilt, remorse, that the only way to be saved was to go to confession to be cleansed and start all over again...
Fast forward to now... not anymore. I would miss Sunday masses, etc., every now and then but, no, I don't have those guilt feelings anymore. My connection with God is more personal now, more spiritual than plainly religious. No more mortal sins for me for not going to church on Sundays and holy days. I go because it's a special occasion, a big celebration, more than an obligation to go.
I couldn't do the midnight mass so I attended the vigil. And what a profound experience it was, as if God brought me there to re-live my experience of Bethlehem and Nazareth. From where the Annunciation took place, to where Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth, the place of the Nativity, the temple where Jesus was presented then taught - the whole Joyful mysteries of the rosary! The caves where the shepherds saw the bright light from a far far distance that led them to where Jesus was born... To think that the only means they traveled 2000 years ago were walking and riding on donkeys!
My co-pilgrims and I celebrated mass in one of the caves last March and, you know what, we sang Christmas songs, traditional Christmas songs, the songs we sang tonight at the vigil mass. That's why I had tears in my eyes. I forgot all about my trip until I went to church tonight. I asked God to "speak to me for I am listening" like I did when we were in Galilee, and it was the music that spoke to me in silence tonight...
We finished the mass with O Come, All Ye Faithful. Yes, I was there in Bethlehem. I went... I came.
How blessed I am to have made that pilgrimage! How blessed I was to feel the experience live again tonight!
It's as if God called me, sent me a personal invitation, gave me this special gift to share Christmas with me especially following my trip to the Holy Land this year. I couldn't have asked for more. Nothing I want more than to feel Jesus in my heart, especially this day of Christmas.
A very joyful Christmas to all!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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